August 14th 2015, this is a date that is going to stick in my mind forever. It was a day that signalled the end of my lifestyle as I knew it, the day that every single one of my buttons ended up being pushed and challenged me to control my own feelings and actions more, the day that I would be called “Daddy”, hopefully forever.
We chose to celebrate the day that our boys moved in with us, not the day that we met them. Not sure what others do, but to us this was the sensible approach. During “introductions”, we had two days where we had time to ourselves and could go for a meal and would not have to worry… therefore we were not REAL parents yet that was coming the following week!
The way I envisaged our future celebrations of this day were mixed initially. I was torn between the huge family affair involving the entire family through to even just dismissing it like it didn’t exist. We made the decision in the end that it is definitely a day worth celebrating, I am sure many adoptive parents would agree. This day is like a birthday, a child’s birthday, especially the eldest as it is usually the day that the parents can reminisce about the pre-children era, they can talk about it together, remember the excitement, the pain, the extreme emotions. It is not only the child’s day, it is a day that belongs to the entire family, the day they became a family
Our boy’s birthdays are exciting for them, and not always positively. It is a day that brings up many emotions for them and can be a mixed day for everyone. It doesn’t have an impact on us specifically, because we don’t have any memories associated to that day, we even tried really hard to work out where we were and what we were doing on the days our boys were born, but unfortunately our actions were obviously so insignificant on that day that we cannot remember exactly. It is nice however to know that this was the day that their birth mother brought them into this world so that we have the joy of having them in our lives
I can’t help but keep dreaming and picturing 10 – 20 years in the future and envisaging having our boys (and hopefully their families) all coming around to our house and having a huge meal together a bit like Thanksgiving Day or Christmas, and celebrating the day we became a family
For now however, we are looking forward to having our lovely family meal at a local restaurant, followed by a cake… not one with candles but something that we either all love to eat or something that each of us individually wants to order. We want to get the boys engaged in this, get them to choose what makes them happy on this day
This year, we are camping, all six of us (dogs included), waking up in a field together in our little tent on our Family Day, having a breakfast in the outdoors then playing games together in the morning. Our meal comes that evening then we are going to sit together with a huge roll of paper, some pens and pencils as we build a timeline of what we have done over the past 12 months, then look at some things that we want to achieve in the coming 12 as a family … we wonder how the boys will embrace this idea?!
We have read some interesting ideas and thoughts/opinions about the celebration of this day, even the very controversial (most likely American) “Gotcha Day” which I don’t agree with
Would love to hear how others celebrate their Family Days…